Tears on Bleecker

A few years ago, while a couple of friends and I were driving along Bleecker to go to Magnolia, we saw a rather overgrown kid crying as he held on to a topping-less pizza. We're not talking "weh-weh, I'm hungry" crying. We're talking "firetrucks screaming to a five-alarm fire" crying. I mean, he was crying so hard that he looked to be in physical pain.

My friends laughed, and then I laughed along. (It sounds mean, I know. But it was much more good-natured than it seems. Really!) And we just kept laughing -- to the point where we were in physical pain.

We picked up our cupcakes and headed across the street to eat in the park. As we ate, we mused about the reasons behind the crying. It was like being asked to come up with a caption for a bizarre still frame from a movie that we couldn't see. Did he get separated from his mom? Was he upset that the toppings had fallen off his pizza?

So that's the set up for this bit. A few days ago, I sent this link to one of those friends because I knew he'd appreciate the humor. (It's an article titled "So This Manatee Walks Into the Internet," and it's about the Horny Manatee sketch on Conan.) The following is the e-mail thread that ensued.

Friend: I finally read this (late night procrastination). It's freaking hilarious. I immediately did a check on www.cryingmanchild.com and it appears to be available. Opportunity?

Me: Let's get it and encourage people to send in their sightings! Maybe then we can finally track down crying man child and ask him whether it was because his toppings fell off.

Friend: Dude. We should so buy that domain name. [Other friend] can set up a site on his server. I think that we can get [him] to draw a caricature of a crying manchild with some messed up pizza and have that as a placeholder until we figure out something better. I'm in love with this idea.

Me: Man, that must be some hard plowing you're up against at the (home) office. But hey ... I like whimsy! I'll get cracking on a poem.

Friend: It just doesn't get any better than this.

Me: Oh, man child, why do you cry? / Is it mommy, or is it your pizza pie?

Friend: oh my. I'm speechless.

It's amazing how creative you become when you're exhausted and annoyed about being at the office.