Pressing Questions

Yes, questions so pressing that I had to take a moment away from work to jot this down.

1. Why the hell do guys wear crew neck undershirts if they're not going to button their top buttons? Are v-neck undershirts really that hard to find? Or am I just too clueless to appreciate the niceties of having your dingy undershirt crawl up from below your dress shirt to say hello to the world?

2. Who the hell came up with pleats? And who decided that it would be an even better idea to double them? As if that weren't enough ... triple pleats? I mean, shouldn't you go ahead and switch to wearing a kilt at that point?

Such mysteries of the universe baffle me so.